TIL I am 3 months older than Coco. That was a big surprise to me because I thought I was 4 years younger.

I want this dog. OMG, so adorable.

Don’t they understand we need a Schuyler sisters song??

Coconut cream. And it better be cream because meringue can fuck right off.

I always tell myself that it doesn’t matter if this works out or not because things in my life are fine as they are and I don’t need this. That lowers the stakes and makes me less nervous. Also, I’m not suggesting that I don’t want the date to work out, just that I’m not getting ahead of myself and imagining our lives…

I had a guy tell me right off the bat that he wanted to get me pregnant. I decided to play along, and he freaked out over the idea that I would say yes. “Don’t you want to get to know me first?” he asked. I suggested he not lead with talk of knocking a woman up if he was interested in getting to know her.

You can always try for the lottery, too. Not a whole lot of availability, but cheap.

It’s in the best interest of shirts that he not wear them lest this happen.

I liked BRA a lot more before this whole presidential run thing.

He’s an Adam Lambert impersonator, so apparently he chooses to look like this. :/

No doubt! If only Luke hadn’t kept her a secret, I think she would have been better received.

When I first read about her Facebook post, I assumed she was referring to the original iO, because all the female improvers in Chicago were banding together over it. I’m so glad she gets to see it’s happening everywhere, but I wish it didn’t take so much for it to be heard.

I hate to bring this up, but April is coming back, too.

There’s a dentist in my town named Dr. Sueme. Seems like an invitation.

He’ll totally get the O next year to complete his first EGOT. No doubt Disney’s Moana is going to win best song.

He was (is?) dating Rashida Jones. That makes me like him even more, ‘cause most of the time I’m not sure he’s that funny.

I don’t have any friends I like enough to go through this level of prep.

I’d be on board with this show. As long as there were long close-ups of Jake’s eyes. His beautiful eyes.

No. Stop.

Me, too. He was my celebrity crush for years, and now I’m ashamed to admit it. Glad I didn’t wind up marrying him, after all. ;)