I was about to mute it when Bush came out, but Colbert actually made it interesting. The setup for asking Jeb how his politics differed from W’s was brilliant.

Piggy stole her boyfriend. She had no other recourse!

Chris Brown would never let a woman near his ass. It would make him less of a man. However, I’m sure he’s all about “persuading” a woman to let him stick it in her ass.

or why performing for lesbians is cool but gay men are an unacceptable audience

You go, ladies!

I get pissed if I shave my legs for a date and nothing happens. I can’t imagine the level of anger I’d feel if I got a blow out or wax for a lackluster date.

I WANT to go Dutch because I don’t want my date to assume I expect him to pay for things. However, I’ve had a few dates where either he’ll show up first at the coffee shop so I’ll go up and order/purchase my drink after saying hello or we’ll go to the movies and I’ll go to the ticket counter first and purchase mine,…

Aspic. That’s the only word you need to confirm olden days people had fucked up taste buds.

I speak redneck. He’s saying that since the judge only has experience picking on weak people, he doesn’t realize that Kim Davis isn’t going to fold under this bullying. She’s stronger than that.

But she can’t enunciate to save her life. I can’t understand the words that are coming out of her mouth when she sings.

But there’s a war on Christmas every year because capitalism and not keeping Christ in Christmas.

I’ve watched every Shonda show, and I have a hard time with How to Get Away with Murder. The first season was a lot of confusing flash-forwards and not enough Viola Davis. She is the only reason I watch. I’m going to give the second season a shot, but they have things to fix.

I am Ozzy Osbourne’s bulldog.

Agreed. Stringer was suave af!

There’s a documentary called The Revisionaries that I cannot recommend enough. I watched it on Netflix, so it may still be streaming.

Please do not show up on the first day of school, smile to my face, then gossip behind my back and expect me to take care of your child each day do my job.

It is both, so you’re good.

The first thing that made me look at Garrett Dillahunt as anything other than the deranged bad guy in a show or movie. And Martha is delightful.

Hmm. Yeah, that is confusing.