I’d heard mumblings growing up of a strange incident involving my family and a famous murder, but my grandma refused to discuss it and I knew better than to ask around. After my great-aunt died and left behind 200 pages of memoirs, I finally got the full story.

“no matter how sweet and well-tempered the beast”

I know the cliche is every Canadian is wonderful and polite and lovely, but honestly, every Canadian I’ve ever met has been a dick. I mean a real, deep down, back of the throat dick.

*sniff*

I have recently lost 80 pounds. I didn’t change anything I ate at all. I just changed the quantity and started exercising. If I had to actually stop eating certain foods to lose weight I wouldn’t have been able to do it. I know you aren’t supposed to but I still use food as my reward for losing weight or for…

Check the vet bill. Did they charge you for a cat scan?

#MakeJezebelGreatAgain

Asians are the last refuge of the American racist. The last people they can abuse with no consequences. It truly is amazing the level of racism that is deemed acceptable to direct at Asian people the equivalent of which would grant instant pariah status were it directed at any other minority group.

The fact that they…

Sexual assault didn't do that girl any good but who's counting.

I’m so sick of this “this is his first offense” and “prison will do him no good” bullshit. It is really easy not to fucking rape people. Don't do it even once and no jail; do it one time and fuck you.

Thank fucking god. Thirty-one and I feel like a massive failure at life. I’m nowhere near being an adult. It was “cute” a few years ago, now I just feel pathetic.

Also, Joe Biden! Today! Tweeted this picture! For Obama’s 55th Birthday!

Says the person who has never had to worry neither about being raped, nor about being called a nigger. Cry some more, white privileged male pissbaby.

Better a dipshit than a rapist

I guess it’s better to be accused of raping dozens of women than to be an actual woman!

I dated a “well endowed” girl in college who rode. I never saw her get above a canter for fear of “releasing the hounds”.

I bet Lady Godiva’s horse was stressed beyond belief.

:/ it sounds like you know what you need to do.

It continues to amuse/irritate me to no end that these people - white, conservative, religious - are the real face of welfare fraud. Not saying that other people don’t cheat the system but the FLDS have turned welfare fraud into an art form. Yet somehow when some people use the term ‘welfare queen’ you just know the…

My four year old son tells me all the time about when "he was the mommy" and I grew in his tummy. He tells me I was a difficult baby: "Mama, you cried a lot and I had to feed you. You cried ALL THE TIME." Oddly enough, as a baby, I was severely colicky. He tells me that next time he gets to be the mommy again, and…