Because not Bernie, who will pull his angry Jewish Grandpa card, will scream at everyone and everything will happen.

Here is going to be every left wing’s blog for the next four years.

Highest respect to the living legend Katie Porter. I posit that a glimpse into the cesspool that is Ted Cruz’s miasmic psyche reveals this:

Call me a cynic, but I fully expect these assholes to all land on their feet eventually, because the world is unfair and annoyingly kind to mediocre white people.

Also, a PERMANENT MORATORIUM on pics of the Butternut Barf Splat himself. I know people and media won’t stop talking about him, but we fucking well never need to look upon his mid-shit grunting face, his duper’s delight smug smirk or his anus mouthed pucker face ever, ever again.

Thank You to Barf Bag. Ironically, your voice of sanity kept me from rage puking for the last several years.

I suspected that the end of the “chaotic Trumpian news cycle” would mean the end of Barf Bag. While the former is a great relief, the latter is kinda sad. (Not “SAD!”, mind; just the regular kind, like we used to have.)

In my experience, many far-left Glenn Greenwald-newsletter subscribing Marxists have a kind of grudging respect for Trumpists in a game recognizes game sort of way. Trans rights and intersectionality are distractions that the bourgeoisie likes to harp on, according to them — if only we had economic equality, racism,…

*insert gif of his daughter squirming away as he tries to kiss her*

One of the things I enjoyed most about the Biden inaugural was how NORMAL it felt. I’d forgotten what normal looked and felt like: Democrats and Republicans managing to occupy the same space without spitting one one another, a ritualized transfer of power that went off on schedule, an inaugural address that was not…

Cruz blew it off when Trump called his wife ugly. Cruz is now trying to blow off a violent and fatal invasion of his own workplace and wants no consequences for the assailants.

OK, now I kind of want her to roll out in a Segway podium just to fuck with people.

They inhabit an alternate reality.

Looking fly af too. A true American hero.

This made me cry when it was first referenced during the ceremony.  He gets all the stars, rewards, medals and anything else he wants.  

Obama should have shown up in a tan suit just to troll people lol 

I loved her giant red headband. It was like a satiny crown; she had very regal princessy vibes. 

So Amanda Gorman is my new favorite human. She was absolutely radiant, in both appearance and substance. I was shedding the happiest tears as she spoke.

“But we pressed on.”

Trumps such a sniveling manbaby, that’s why his likeness is being permanently preserved for all to see at the Museum of London.