i guess her butthole isn't cooking enough meals and stuff :(

I hope you're not nervous anymore. Not being a fan is Beyonce is not a big deal. With any luck, you'll be able to move on from this difficult announcement and continue living your life in peace. Good luck.

LOVENR.

Totes an anagram, you guise!

when i get out of the car it is like a yeti with vertigo unfurling itself from a clown car.

I am so glad that you had a wonderful wedding, but there are plenty of women who don't want to get married, or don't want a wedding, or find joy in other things. There are also plenty of people who find nothing but pain and suffering in marriage. What works for you doesn't work for everyone, and pitying other women…

Women shouldn't even be allowed to take public transportation, because our menstruation attracts bears and that's putting everyone at risk. Biology.

I think men should be allowed to spread their legs as wide as they want on the bus as long as women are allowed to change our tampons on the bus and throw the used ones at the most annoying passengers. Because of biology.

Of the three major cities I've lived in (London, Boston, Toronto), Toronto is THE FUCKING WORST for public transportation etiquette.

Yeah, I don't think the fact that a CEO of a "breastaurant" is a sleazy sexist jerk is a OMG KEYSER SOZE moment for any of use, really. It's that CBS offered said jerk a spot on a highly visible primetime show and tried to pass it off as heartwarming gobbley goo hopefully without anyone noticing how vile this shit…

If that's what was "mildly confusing" to you in an article about the president of a country adopting a kid as their grandson so he wouldn't become a werewolf, I'll take it!

Strange, but I can't really judge. Every year my president pardons a turkey from being killed and eaten for Thanksgiving, before going on to eat a... different turkey. So.

We might laugh, but I've never seen an Argentinian werewolf so it's clearly working.

That dick pic pic will haunt me forever.

That dog is like the Winnebago of dogs.

CAPS EASIER READ

Or apples and water buffalo.

Sean Hannity, that is, a foaming baking soda volcano project set casually set in front of a loudspeaker, managed to garner one vote as Best Host.

Any word on if Tina is going to unlock the vault and sell some sweet Destiny Child outfits? I have three friends (two I'm not overly fond of, TBH) that I'd love to wear these with for a night on the town ('cuz the club is jumpin' jumpin'.)