chickenwhisperer3

11/4/13

11/3/13

How the hell do you fence $400k in stolen walnuts? Is there some shady, back-alley nut distributor that doesn't ask questions? It's Mr. Peanut, isn't it? Never trust someone wearing a monocle.

11/3/13

Nooooo never steal a walnut! My parents are IRL walnut farmers (except in NZ not California), and they have lovingly raised their trees with friendly sheep lawnmower friends, frequent hugs and chicken company. That's why walnuts taste like love.

11/3/13

Ah, yes, yet another "men are nothing but cheating scumbags and women are nagging jealousy hounds" bit.

11/3/13

Girlfriends nag and boyfriends cheat and have porn on their computer. This is some cutting edge comedic material.

11/3/13

Christ, that's terrifying. I'm really glad you're all okay. And fuck that guy, seriously.

11/1/13

After spending the last five years with Kardashian-length hair, I pulled a Kristin Chenoweth-pulling-a-Pam Anderson today. Right after I saw that photo, I ran on my lunch break and got a haircut. I was so scared because it was a place one step beneath a Supercuts (Great Clips?), but I didn't care. It looks fabulous.…

11/1/13

I feel like he gave himself a little pep talk there near the end when he jumped back up again before finally getting the cracker "Damnit Douglas, you can do this! You've stolen hundreds of crackers before, this one is no different. Now you go back down there and you get that cracker!"

10/31/13

I was Frida Kahlo!

10/31/13

Zombie Hester Prynne. At first I was going to just be Hester Prynne. . . but zombie make up is fun makeup. I also chopped my dress short because it's more comfortable. Deal with it, etc etc. Sorry for the questionable photo quality—- quick iPhone snaps in low light are. . . not the best.

10/31/13

We can do it!

10/31/13

I decided to make my owl costume this year. Cut hundreds of felt "feathers" and sewed them onto an old dress. Mother was awesome and made the owl hat for me.

10/31/13