Hey man, quit leaving notes on my Hummer.

I just read it again and my Spidey senses are tingling. My conspiracy theory: dude is fighting with his GF because she wants him to ask his friends to help them move instead of having a bachelor party. The writing style just reads female to me - I think she wrote it and was planning to show it to him, like: "See,…

"Hey guys, here's what I want to do for my bachelor party. First, you get up early on a Saturday after you presumably worked all week. Then, you come over and help me load a moving truck. After that, you follow me over to my new house where you unload the truck. Then, you can sit around and wait for everyone to shower…

If tomorrow all my things were gone

So ALLLLLL you do all day is work a job that pays your rent, and you speak French? LAME! Why aren't you an astrophysicist? Neil Degrasse Tyson is one. It's not that hard.

Can you make Callie Rossmeyer telling stories a regular feature? Like, even if the stories have nothing to do with the food service industry. More story time please.

It is, 100%, to keep people from complaining to corporate. See, what people don't realize is, you will totally get something free for complaining to corporate. However, I'd bet that the person you just complained about will lose their job over the complaint.

One time when I was outside of a Cheesecake Factory smoking a cigarette a man propositioned me thinking I was a hooker.

"Your job is to serve us and do what we say. You're not supposed to talk back."

I can't decide who is worse in that story - the customers or the manager for taking off the gratuity.

I wonder if anyone ever comes here and is like "Oh my god, that was me."

There are two types of customers: those who adhere to a Copernican/Galilean heliocentric model of the Solar System and those who don't. The former are rational human beings who understand that the world revolves around the Sun. The latter are unrepentant assholes who are truly convinced that they are the center of…

Oooooh, those assholes in the last one. I want to slap them.

This, THIS is what a normal, sane person is talking about when they're saying that a business can and sometimes should refuse someone service. The utterly insane assholes who start off treating the staff like slaves and go downhill from there. The POS who threatens their way into free stuff because they know a…

Managers who don't stand up for their employees are THE WORST.

I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know my cheddar biscuits will be free. And I won't forget the men who died, so I can bitch about automatic gratuity.

Air Force Brethren must be friends with Wig Lady, who thinks "I'm pretty sure my granddaughter worked at Hollister for the summer, back in the 90s" means that I should give her a mall employee discount. Please, continue to play Six Degrees of Barely Relevant so I can come up with a reason to give you sixty cents off…

I find myself using the wrong world a lot

Submitting your passwords to sites like "How Secure is my Password" is going to make sure that the correct answer would be "not secure at all anymore".