I’d posted this a few weeks ago, but it’s topical: I think it was Stephen Fry who, when asked for a definition of the word “countryside,” replied “the act of killing Piers Morgan.”

This may be my one and only chance to use this gif

skim heads

Ya, lactose tolerance just means at least some of your ancestors herded cows and sheep and shit. Just imagine how impoverished your life must be that a tummy enzyme that lets you drink something for baby mammals is, in your mind, something you have going for you.

also, skim.

It is pretty telling that the people who always poll highest as being afraid of illegal immigrants, or gang violence, or ISIS attacks, are rural conservatives who live far, FAR away from the nearest diverse city, airport, or border. These people are so sheltered in their little bubble enclaves that they’re seeing…

On second thought maybe Hillary Clinton would have made a better president. I have spoken.

S.T.A.B. - Smile To make it All Better

This guy sounds like he’s uttered the phrase “but it’s not a pyramid scheme” to all of his friends multiple times.

I want to say a few things...

I know I’m old because all I can think when someone mentions Migos is how much I want migas. Delicious, delicious migas.

I’ve known exactly two people in my life who did not fuck their spouses before they got married (both were actual virgins). Both were divorced within a few years because of sexual incompatibility.

What the fuck is wrong with fucking people not fucking???

There’s a reason Massachusetts is mentioned as rejecting raising the cap on charters: It has the best public schools in the nation.

This chart has no meaning whatsoever.

um.....Lock Her Up?

In each of the last 2 Super Bowls the Patriots played Donta’a Hightower made the 2 defining defensive stops that enabled victory. He’s getting his just due for this strip sack but many people overlook his stop of Lynch on the play before Butler’s pick at the end of XLIX which was unbelievable.

Agreed. If he was trying to push Warren to the front it’s because he knows she polarizing and 45 already has a nickname for her. Gillibrand doesn’t have any major baggage and has stood against every nominee. I think she’d be a great choice.