It used to be that they came with a seasoning packet and you could reduce the sodium by only putting half the seasoning in, but now they just dump it in the cup. I suppose you could make it, then dump half the broth and replace it with more hot water, but that’s just asking for burnt hands and/or a noodly mess.

He has three children. Surprisingly two of them were apparently conceived after a motorcycle tore his urethra. 

I’ll never forget the time my wife found me lying on my back in bed watching Jackass 2. After the requisite “Let me know when you’re done watching this shot” comment, she noticed something just passed my belly and realized our 9 y.o. son was watching with me. What he heard after that was worse than anything he could…

The riot control device used at the front of embassies which blasts rubber pellets is the one that sticks with me. You can see the fear on the faces of everyone except for Knoxville.

You should upgrade that to “a 1981 Diesel VW Rabbit.”

I have a seperate number but it FWDs to my cell 

As a small business owner that deals with customers all over the country, I can’t just ingore calls I don’t know. Furthermore, most of these spammy calls mask the number and use a local area code. 

I arrived around 10:30, had the breakfast sandwich, and departed around noon. Sat and chatted with my friend Lane for a while, you can ask him, he’s my alibi. 

In Oregon they are just like harbor freight trash. No plates or serial required

When were you at Alice’s?

Also, it would probably be impossible to get it registered and plated again. 

If you own one, you won’t need to rent one. Their business model is renting.

Today I learned that we have a jalopnik staffer right here in reno

Could you just not pay the insurance and say it was destroyed? Pay them and you have a trailer?

No matter how you look at it, Tesla is still in the best place of any manufacturer.

I agree. They need to sell “skateboards,” and then coachbuilding needs to become a thing again.

its why I drive a 95 Z/28, I want people to think I have a death wish or am a serial killer

See, that’s why I want a Mitsubishi mirage: I want people to think I have a massive hog

“Uhhh... Nice truck, sorry about your dick.”

 They know who their target market is: Men with small penises.