I keep wondering why Republicans don’t ditch Trump and push Pence as the reasonable alternative. Not because I think that’ll save the country, but because it makes political sense.

“Best regards”?

Yeah, it’s not like HRC talked about those “deplorables”.

He will be as quick to condemn White Supremacists as he is to condemn Putin.

I’ll take 80 years of a combination of hamburgers, salmon, shrimp, chicken sandwiches, avocado toast, cauliflower, and lots of tequila.

I don’t give a fuck what science does or doesn’t prove. I’ll take 70 years of hamburgers, steaks, shrimp, barbecue, ribs, turkey bacon, and chicken sandwiches over 90 years of avocado toast and steamed cauliflower all damn day.

Not all countries.

Oh sweet child, what a world you must live in where you think Fox has any idea/plan what to do with the X-Men.

Alternate take: Fox cares so little about any degree of internal continuity with the mutant franchise that they’re just throwing things at the screen that people may have heard of before, whether it makes narrative sense or not.

There seems to be a lack of thigh pouches.

I’m not sure why, but something about Brolin’s pic as Cable isn’t doing it for me.

Byron Leftwich will be on that list, just as soon as he completes his throwing motion on this pass he started in 2009.

Because I disdain vinegar based sauces and condiments, I eat my hot dog plain and I will fight anyone who judges me for it.

The cotton gin was invented by Eli Whitney in 1793.

This was a long time ago for me (1994), but the first two years after college were definitely a learning experience. Here are some general and specific things:

Rather than a dish towel, put the person who only partially unloads the dishwasher in with the next load of dishes. This should solve the problem.

Something I wish I’d learned immediately after college is that student loan interest is a bitch, and I should listen very closely when the friendly student loan people say “yes, sir, we can absolutely sign you up for this deferral program, but please be advised that interest will continue to accrue.”

You fight your battles, I’ll fight mine

Here’s another tip. If you ask someone if they want kids or want more kids and they say no, stop bothering them about it. I can’t tell you the number of times I told people I don’t want anymore kids only to be badgered and told that I really do want more. No, I really don’t. Now I just respond with, oh I am divorced…

Patrick has been fired for not referencing the extensive real-world history of ballistas being used to kill flame-breathing magical lizards the size of 747s.