Even if it is the world’s biggest cucumber, he’ll never be in as good a photograph as this guy:

At the very least, “a well-regulated militia” should impose minimum safe handling standards and checks against those standards on a regular basis.

Here’s a thought - how about having a conscience and boycotting Amazon because of its tax-avoidance and the unbelievably shitty way it treats its employees?

Can we have this in English, please?

I ain’t afraid of no women.

Ah, “libertarians” - treating their political philosophy like it’s a salad bar at Pizza Hut.

Dear Jezebel

Though this means that Davis is legally obligated to issue same-sex marriage licenses, he still says that he “deserves relief” from all the happy gay couples coming in.

It’s Independence Day weekend, and you’re printing stories about these parasites.

Best thing about the ruling?

What I don't understand is why rapist Paul Nungesser isn't suing the woman he raped for calling him a rapist.

Fuck these parasites.

I thought calico was the U.S. equivalent of tortoiseshell. Bit confused now.

#TeamDan, ‘cos he mentioned cake.

Has Miss Piggy’s snout been airbrushed, or has she had some work done?

Google shouldn’t have to be anyone’s friend in this instance.

Yes, it’s true that shrimp isn’t a vegetable, but the sheer mention of shrimp tempura had me reading the rest of the list and thinking <i>“Awww, why can't I be eating shrimp tempura right now?</i>

Maybe the police have evidence that the kitchen staff are black?

Nikki Balovitch should only have got her wedding ring back if she’d eaten one of her dog’s turds first.

Pick ‘n mix libertarians can go fuck themselves.