Everyone says stay home when you’re sick.... Till you try to call in when you’re sick.

10/10 comment. Funny, informative, perfect amount of shade, simply brilliant.

Your assumption is that all Trump supporters are like you. But if every Trump supporter was in the same demographic as you, Trump’s supporters would only make up 10% of the vote, tops. Some Trump supporters are women, some have daughters and wives, some are probably just like you and don’t concern themselves with…

“We will take our country back from those who seek to weaken it. Those who...blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.”

I can’t fathom how anyone can possibly be undecided in this election.

I don’t know how to embed things but this one cracked me up.

I genuinely don’t understand why Jim and Meghan are married. He openly acts like he can’t stand being around her.

Anybody who "lectures" a waiter, about anything at all, is a tool. Give your order and shut up.

I can’t believe THAT guy got FOUR women to fall in love with, and want to spend their lives with him. He looks like he's literally pained when he thinks.

Kody is THE WORST! I really hate him.

omg I needed a warning for Steven Tyler’s right foot.

The problem with this, aside from the fact that it’s insane, is that almost anyone would be preferable to Trump? What’s that you say? Clinton is actually just a walking, talking tower of gerbils? Well, they’re less racist and less likely to start a nuclear war than the other guy, so whatever.

Must be nice to say “no” and have the person actually stop

But Parker himself didn’t say stop so, by his own logic, not only should the journalist kept going, he should have invited two other journalists into the room to keep asking the same question.

It is just like when my daughter, who was 4 at the time, told me “I don’t like time out. It’s not fun!” and then I told her it was not supposed to be fun, that is why it was called time out. And then she got it.

She had a great followup to one of the mouthbreathers:

Well, now I gotta boycott Sean Lennon. Fuck. I mean, I’d never heard of Foxygen so boycotting that was gonna be easy.

Ok, I am admittedly really really really bad at this, but I need a ruling. Her follow-up (the full one, not what’s written above) is shade, no?

its sexist in the same way that calling a white man racist is racist against whites. its a common tactic of the bigot. affirmative action is racist, you see, because if the blacks want to be equal then they shouldn’t accept a leg-up. mansplaining is sexist because if its sexist to complain about women nagging, then it…