Still sounded 73% less stupid because it was said in British English.

Some other suggestions:

As a number people have mentioned, listing the last seating time really would be the easiest way to do it. But that won’t account for variables like take-out orders, or people who go into restaurants with a clear idea of what they’re going to order and eat quickly, or even as you point out, closing times that are…

It’s really a shame how awful both the 2K and EA basketball franchises are when basketball is more popular than ever, emerging as a year-round sport that people talk about and a counterpoint for those of us sick of the blatant hypocrisy in the NFL.

The microtransactions are just poison: I really wish when the NBA and…

That dude needs to...watch out.

It’s true. Lin has always been casually written off as a novelty by his detractors who refuse to consider his career from a statistical basis or the contingencies—unfavorable roster situations or injuries—that have shaped his career. Linsanity and his enduring popularity among specific niches/demographics have only…

That seems...reasonable? If you arrive 1:15 before closing, that should be enough time to get your order in, eat, and pay. It seems strange that the restaurant hadn’t dropped off your order by the official closing time of 9pm, but seems like their fault.

The only caveat is if you arrived at 7:45 for a restaurant…

Strongbow and Magner’s are both ciders; did you mean Harp’s and Magner’s?

I just remember drinking in British pubs during my summer abroad, and one of my mates suggested that I “top off” my Stella Artois with quick splash of Strongbow. Neither are amazing drinks, but it was a good change of pace and still had a taste…

Yeah, that’s fine. The basic idea is to recognize staff members have their own lives and routines too, so just be considerate when it’s getting close to closing time.

Haha, I assume you’re trying to be humorous by twisting my words around. As a considerate human being, I generally tip 20% and follow my rule above, so I avoid sit-down restaurants if there’s less than 30 minutes before closing.

But sometimes it can’t be helped and you have to go to a sit-down restaurant right before…

My rule is:

If you can’t order, eat, and pay by 10 minutes before closing, then don’t go in to a proper, full-service restaurant. That’s what fast food and all-night diners are for.

And if it can’t be helped and your server is scrambling to get your order taken care of, leave a generous tip.  But you should know that…

I bet it was jeffvanhungry’s colleague Gary.

But the strawberry flavor was too cloying, the lemonade not lemonade-y enough. It tasted like a melted Jolly Rancher: too sweet, not enough citrus tartness.

I think morning instant ramen is a bit much, but there are plenty of places in Asia where noodles are breakfast fare. Japanese train stations have soba/udon shops on the platforms doing brisk business during the morning rush...including this offer for free soba for easing rush-hour crowding. Ramen shops never open…

Definitely.  A-Rod was vain, awkward, and kinda shitty...but not the asshole Jeter was and still is.

First Bret Stephens and now Jimmy Pitaro: Samer, are you trying to exclude yourself from a future ESPY?

Whoever designed this system did so for motorists operating their machines where people generally observe left lane discipline and respect the space of another driver who signals before changing lanes. This is not an assumption that works in the U.S., where drivers regularly plod along 5 mph below the speed limit in…

The British get drunk more than any other people in the world according to a recent study, though 51.1 times/year seems ridiculously(?) high.

I think Roth’s last scenario is the most plausible: Stroman is the second pitcher.

Ugh, we don’t need re-jiggered offerings from stuff already in McDonald’s pipeline, even if that is the point of this “new” menu.

Give me ebi filet burgers or bust, you timid wuss-packers.