Well, only if you believe there’s justice in the world.

Henry’s reason was that Cromwell set him up with Anne of Cleves, a total 4.

It’s been a good week of self-owns. Here in this piece comparing Trump to Henry VIII, Steve Bannon compares himself to a guy who gets his head chopped off.

I have a similar program, but I add a tweak of feast-feast-feast-feast-buy new pants.

Works, trust me.

Next on the list: An Indianapolis man who late last month called 911 to report the theft of his footlong Subway sandwich.

Yeah, I know. What I’m describing is happening to posts with more stars and more replies. It’s like Kinja can’t count or something.

This is excellent Kinja.

What’s not excellent Kinja?: how top-starred comments have not been appearing at the top. It’s been happening a lot lately.

Not all of us can afford the sweet, sweet, Economy Plus that Pang likely scored from The Takeout, so exercise is out for us Basic Economy peons. And last I checked, upgrading to Vitamin B on United flights is a $225 upcharge.

With the series going to US soil, you knew the Canadians were going to get rid of their Looneys.

The obvious solution is to tip only in small change.

Nickels are a good choice: 1) the coins are sufficiently hefty to make more noise you drop them into the jar; 2) they are of sufficiently low value that you can maximize the amount of time dropping them slowly into the jar to ensure that the barista will see you,…

I can just hear Jemaine saying all of this in a Kiwi accent:

“Bicuz the briid’s not sepahratid. The firrin niids to bii sendwiichd bitwiin the dbriid.”

Right, on, Big J!

But it works great if your favorite dishes are fried calamari and braised short ribs.

If you’re not pushing over the line — not to the line, but over the line — you’re going to be behind somebody that is willing to do that.

Not intended as a correction, but an improv-style “Yes, and...”!

This letter is blowing a minor thing out of proportion, which...tends to be the norm with Salty’s letters. But it’s better than some past letters, which were ridiculously self-entitled, like this one and this one and this one.

Yeah, everyone’s beer and food knowledge will be at different levels. It’s fine to learn more about your preferences a little more each time.

But I’ve never understood how some people can just go into places, drop money on orders without thinking any deeper than, “Yummy!” or “Yuck!”

I would say two or three. But the more important thing is to approach it intelligently: talk to your bartenders about your preferences and experiences—hate hops? really love Allagash White and want something similar? not driving tonight so döppelbocks are fine?—to help them narrow down beer recommendations for you and…

For their over-celebration “antics” and failure to follow the unwritten rules of U-18 soccer, the Koreans are hereby designated “the Dominicans of Asia.”

So that means Zaire will spend all of senior year exchanging jerseys after every game in their league.