Have you ever visited a restaurant and said to yourself: “I like ready-to-eat food here, but how can I do more work?”

The next hitter, Alex Wood, struck out on a 79 mph ... fastball.

A little late to the party and rather new to Jezebel—though I love the idea of Saturday Night Social.

1) Definitely walk as much as you can. If your phone gives you service in the UK for cheep (e.g. I use Google Fi and I don’t pay any extra rates), hook it up to a pair of headphones and walk in London while listening…

As someone who did the hard work of suggesting the Vice City soundtracks (Wave 103 and Flash FM fan here) that Rockstar engineers compiled, I would very much appreciate it if you could post the list in full on the site without forcing me to sign up for Spotify, thanks.

(Did I mention how hard I worked to suggest a…

LeBron’s trying to push LaVar out of the basketball reality show market with a larger cast of actual NBA-ish talent.

Followed with an afterparty where Glenn Thrush is hopefully not invited...because reasons.

Really time for a Deadspin/NYT joint feature series in Trump Country again.

When/How did you guys learn about masturbation, and what would you wish/recommend differently for parents with kids heading towards that age?

More all the time.

When I’m not bodyguarding or killing rats, I’m studying up on Bird Law and chugging down Fight Milk to better retain the information.

This thing deserves the House Party Protocol.

(the self-kablooey part)

I assume the credits won’t transfer to Hamburger University.

At least there’s always Cornell...School of Hotel Administration.

To be fair, Pepe Sylvia does sound like a pretty attractive person.

One-Upping the Stakes: What do I does my kid get if he/she is both conceived and delivered at a Chick-Fil-A?

The Derp Lineup

This is a welcome change from the typical British supermarket experience:

In Salty’s defense, one of my questions made her column (not one of the really bad ones) so I don’t think they’re made-up as people so often claim.

But this was....

Dear Salty,

Please part the column curtain and show us the other questions you received this week so we can marvel at how bad they were that this was the overanxious one that made it.

Love,

Larry

I would like for you to be my new best friend.

Melo is very proudy and can eat shit.

Hopefully the Hawks will keep Melo on the team long enough for him to back stab Jeremy Lin.

Bullshit.

When you’re in such a situation, you don’t think “optimistically” or “pessimistically” because there’s almost no time to think: life goes on, and you have to deal with everyday responsibilities to yourself and others while getting weighed down with increasingly heavy burdens.