I had all forty-seven of my labors in a gutter located beside a major U.S. Highway, attended only by alcoholic rodeo clowns. All of my angels are precious.

MOMMY WARS!

...a cab, because Washington can't sustain a drive.

Alternate headline:

"That book wasn't even good porn! For Christ's sakes someone needs to give you kids some Marquis de Sade!"

Wait, there are people that DON'T sleep naked?

Oh, grow up. Those anchovies make the salad! Screw the salad—I'd eat a pile of those anchovies with some good bread! If you can't handle the anchovies, order the garden salad, sissyboy!

I sleep nude, I didn't realize it was something I was going to be judged about by Jezebel.

I sleep naked. It's so much more comfortable that way!

*dodges all the sharp things thrown*

Or, you know, you could write your note on a normal piece of paper and put said paper in your pocket- potentially even the same pocket you keep your phone in.

Get out.

Nnamdi only wore #24 with the Eagles. Wore #21 for 8 years with the Raiders.

Hot water? Who wants all the added trans fat in hot water? For crying out loud, ladies. Just stick your head over a pot of boiling water and inhale the steam. You drink the hot water, you are just adding fat-attracting hydrogen molecules to your body.

I'm a feminist and I feel Outrage and Exhaustion and all the feelings but my main takeaway is codfish for breakfast? Raining fires of Hell, no.

He has a helmet covering his eyes, he's disoriented and he STILL manages not to run into the ass of any of his offensive linemen.

Hey! We play this game all the time in my house. In our game, Burt gets on the floor and thinks she's a lion who needs Vodka to fight a magic wizard. If she crawls over to you and screams at you to go get her some Vodka, and you can do it without crying about what she said about your mom, you win! We call it 'Burt…

Sales people can be ridiculous. My mom used to have to call the manager on salesgirls who felt comfortable saying that the item she was asking for was too expensive for her. "Do you have X?" "Yes, but it is really expensive." B/c you know, we are black, and we are all poor.

I have to share this somewhere. Today at 1:30p.m. I marked 9 days (i'm counting by the hour) without binging and purging, the longest I've gone without in five years. I've been bulimic/anorexic for over a decade and this past week has been me taking a stab at normal (I don't really know what normal is) and watching…

I feel stupid, so here's a rabbit with a pancake on it's head.