I wasn’t into Star Wars as a kid, and I’m not into it now that I’m a grown ass man. Y’all need to get your shite together, pronto!

Can I offer to sell you a bridge?

You need fresh air.

Not much profit, trust me.

Stick with the classics I say!

That blowed up real good!

Exactly, nothing to see here, move along. It’s like Ann Coulter, but not a scary looking hag.

Thank god. He’s just the most boring driver ever.

Toyotas are death traps.

CV joints were brutal. That car would just burn them up.

I have those same shoes.

Volkswagen Golf, Wolfsburg Edition. Everybody warned me about reliability issues. I countered with, German Engineering. Little did I know that German Engineering was code for piece of unreliable junk.

Shut up haters! Dude is building cars, at least in his mind he is.

Ah Toyota quality, the great myth. What a piece of junk.

Gross Polluter Volkswagen, the gift that keeps on giving.

People around boats just seem so damn stupid. Some neighbors of ours lost some of their children during a boating accident one holiday. It was gruesome.

Someone please explain to me why we’re not rocking HUDs on even the cheapest econo boxes at this point.

I’d still need space for my engraved clay busters.

Did the GTI leave you broken down on the side of the road, in the rain, on an interstate with 18 wheelers whizzing by you, inches from your door handle, at 3AM in the morning?

I’m fine with the way the laws are. You want to drive a Citroen so dang bad, go move to freaking France!