Hey e.e. cummings, try throwing in a capital letter sometimes.

I think we’re nearing a dangerous precedent with pets, and we have to start eating them, wholesale. If we don’t, as Donald Trump is my witness, they’ll start killing us in our sleep.

Kevin James, the poor man’s Chris Farley.

Toyotas are death traps.

Man, are you dumb.

CV joints were brutal. That car would just burn them up.

I have those same shoes.

Volkswagen Golf, Wolfsburg Edition. Everybody warned me about reliability issues. I countered with, German Engineering. Little did I know that German Engineering was code for piece of unreliable junk.

Shut up haters! Dude is building cars, at least in his mind he is.

Ah Toyota quality, the great myth. What a piece of junk.

Gross Polluter Volkswagen, the gift that keeps on giving.

People around boats just seem so damn stupid. Some neighbors of ours lost some of their children during a boating accident one holiday. It was gruesome.

I wish I was 1/10th as happy as this guy in anything in my life.

Someone please explain to me why we’re not rocking HUDs on even the cheapest econo boxes at this point.

I’d still need space for my engraved clay busters.

Did the GTI leave you broken down on the side of the road, in the rain, on an interstate with 18 wheelers whizzing by you, inches from your door handle, at 3AM in the morning?

I’m fine with the way the laws are. You want to drive a Citroen so dang bad, go move to freaking France!

We don’t need better batteries, we need super capacitors. Electric cars should be 50% super capacitor, 50% battery.

I’m from the Northeast part of the country. We don’t detail. We just wait for the rain to clean it up.

I thought you said “Anti-SoCal” and was going to hound you for being a water hoarder.