Shirtless perp walk, is the best perp walk.

They are so going to want me to be there. I have the best TV laugh on the planet.

You don’t know history at all, do you son? USA owns the moon. We landed men on it, and planted the flag. While your generation lands rockets on barges, my generation put freaking men on the moon, hell we even drove a car on it.

God Americans are so damn dumb.

Bet you anything that rover says, ‘Hecho en Mexico.’

Somebody buy her a brain first.

This is a non-story. Man bites dog, now that’s a story.

Do people actually watch baseball anymore?

Brazil is a ghetto country. This will be the last time they ever host anything.

I loathe the Olympics. It’s just more sickening fascism, and nationalism.

The citizens of Brazil are going hungry, why shouldn’t the reporters go hungry too?

This is why Jay Leno owns Lamborghinis. Ferrari and its owners are schmucks.

Well, seeing asI have all my teeth, my name isn’t Billy-Bob, and I only drink top shelf liquor, I’ll pass on the hillbilly wagon.

Wow, first I get denied a Ford GT, and now the Genesis is dead.

Just more capitalist elitism brought to you by Ford.

So you’re that guy, eh?

I’d wear that bumper with pride after that. Please pardon the lion joke, wrong species.

I saw a recent photo of the mother-in-law, and she appeared to have all of her fingers.

Yeah, but you just proved it, you didn’t get the joke.

Honda Fit for the win. Well played sir!