Eh, I’d snark but I’m sure that robbery was terrifying. Whatever brings her peace, I’m ok with it.

I mean, there’s usually actually a lot to say about fragrances. I recommend everyone hear a perfumer speak sometime, because the way fragrance houses create scents (not just for perfume, but also for everyday household items, etc.) is incredibly fascinating.

HURRY UP AND GET MARRIED, YOU CRAZY KIDS!!! I need a royal wedding to look forward to in this horrible world! Won’t you people think of ME and MY needs?!

Ugh. I had assumed Kristin Kreuk was a complete moron, based on her total lack of acting ability, and on interviews.

Not to even marginally defend her but to be fair she hasn’t done anything outrageous or actively lessened the office she holds like literally every other fucker out of that family (to the best of my knowledge anyhow).

The fact that FLOTUS’s official Twitter account has basic grammar mistakes which no one has bothered to correct is somehow the maggot infested cherry on this cruddy sundae

My genuine reaction every time I’m confronted with the fact Melania is FLOTUS:

So after spending the past few weeks railing against sexual abuse by men in Hollywood daily, she’s absolutely silent on Senate candidate Roy Moore!

I recently overhead a conversation of some male coworkers (all 60+) that went like this:

Right? I’m like, how does a 12 year old get a gig writing for The New Yorker?

Famously the son of Woody Allen and Mia Farrow

He’s 29 now, but yes, he is Doogie Howser. He graduated from Bard College at the age of 15 then started at Yale law school at 16. He’s member of the New York Bar. He had already done a stint at the State Department before he started a career in journalism. His resume is pretty insane.

He looks like Sinatra.

Congratulations!

I have a reason to celebrate! After 5 years of waiting for The Asshole to fix the divorce papers he wanted me to sign, I went ahead and filed for divorce myself, back in June. This week, the judge signed the decree after The Asshole didn’t respond to the notice he was sent.

80's New York, so probably in Times Square.

The funny, chubby husband had a big fart and then the attractive, long-suffering wife slipped on a banana peel and cracked her head open. As the blood flowed out of her wound, Funny-Chubs slipped around and eventually fell on his butt! What a mess!

OR, this is Kevin Can Wait: The Mirror Universe.

A Romulan pirate crew hijacked a deep space mining platform, then accidentally travelled back in time to kill Leah Remini’s mother before she was born, because King of Queens reruns. The Romulans got the timing wrong, resulting in an alternate “Kevin Timeline” in which an edgier Leah works with Kevin James later in…

Radium poisoning. It’s the only explanation that makes sense.