I rarely see anyone whose brutal murder in a shit-speckled alley would make the world a better place, but I think you may be one of those rare few for whom the world would rejoice. Please go hang out in the darkest alley you can find in the hopes that either 1) someone will give you the shanking you deserve or 2) you…

As someone half-deaf from Meniere’s Disease, I was very disheartened to see this the other night when my production partner suggested I play it. I really do not understand how in 2018, a videogame can exist without subtitles. I never used to use them, but since I’ve lost half my hearing, they’ve become a necessary…

You couldn’t have just requested the review copy for your PS4 or PC, so you could do it on account A, like every other EA game you’ve ever played?

I, for one, welcome its return.

In my younger, wilder days, I had three concussions. I can tell you that yes, the night you get them, your speech is way off and your memory is shit. The next day, most people couldn’t tell I had one, and if not for the big scar on my eyebrow during my first one (when an amp landed on my head), wouldn’t have even been…

You forgot the best part of Enz-er, sorry, Real1's weird non-excuse...the person who approached him was an “undercover flight attendant,” which I can tell you as someone with a mother who worked for Continental for decades, is not  a thing.

I hate the graphics of FFVII. I hated them when the game first came out and I look forward to a more realistic style. 

You mean, the game that is coming out in two months?

I bet you’ll be making snide and tired comments like this, a year after it has already released, because it’s so much easier to say the trendy thing than to actually pay any attention to real life.

Ugh. No point in even watching E3 next year then.

Sucks. I understand this means that PS5 stuff won’t be ready next year and everything coming out for PS4 is stuff that’s already been announced, but still, I look forward to E3 and PSX every year and Sony are depriving me of them (even if the last E3 and the last PSX…

Meh. As long as there is still a PS4 version, I’m happy. I don’t see why anyone would want Vanillaware’s awesome artwork wasted on a portable system.

I find it very odd that you’d say Michael was unattractive, after seeing just about every woman I know talk about how hot he is, especially when his hair is long.

Good for whoever is into this sort of thing, I guess.

Eh, I’d rather get a game I want to play. 

I basically see this as a countdown to the death of Obsidian, say, three or four years from now, when their first NextBox game doesn’t sell 16 million copies. 

As someone who hasn’t listened to pop music since Nine Inch Nails was being played on the radio, I had no idea this was even a thing or, tbh, who Ariana Grande is (other than someone who keeps popping up in articles and was a guest character in a Final Fantasy game).

Shush. Research before speaking, child.

If people stopped falling in love with companies, Nintendo would be out of business the next day.

You realize there is an incredibly small chance of that ever happening. If Trump ever went to prison, he’d go to a country club, probably better than the shitshow that is Maralargo, while getting to hang out with the rest of his billionaire boys club for the next ten years.

So, other than announcing the death of Obsidian three or four years from now, when their games don’t sell 16 million copies each, I don’t see any big announcements.

God, the end of a generation sucks. No wonder Sony’s not doing PSX this year.

If only it was some sort of single player story campaign, I would probably finally pick the game up.