Is printed poetry dead yet? If not, I earnestly submit Amy Pickworth's 'Bigfoot for Women' from Orange Monkey Press. It's great.

Race is not an issue in The Dukes of Hazzard. The only black person in the entire show is Sheriff Little of Chickasaw County.

Well then fuck you for being more successful than me, OK?

I won an internets once!

I frequently seethe with rage. Pointy, pointy rage.

That's the best kind of hospitality!

What kind of… business… were they in?

Eddie Vedder sucks harder than a tornado-borne Dyson; he eats more shit than the Totality of Dog. Eddie Vedder is to grunge as a callused asshole is to a fistula festival; his singing sounds like Senile Bruce Springsteen drowning in alphabet soup. If I wanted to hear a sensitive man mumble I'd go to an oral surgery…

So, magic umbrella!

Ew.

I'm exorcising demons, damn it - I DID play football in high school, by god! And I sucked, and I hated it, and the only reason I played was because my father said that he'd come and watch games and he didn't until I broke down in tears over his betrayal of my trust.

So, all Sony's base are belong to them?

Or Miracle Whip, perhaps.

It does anagram to 'Mere Orca Moron,' if that helps…

'Poot' is a verb, right?

Richard Posner upheld a punitives multiplier of 168:1, and I settled a case at 25:1, so there's hope…

Yeah… that's a problem.

Did you just call The Rock's daughter's budding sexuality a rift that "has also swallowed up countless innocent me?"

SLURM!