"Evans can barely act. Why is directing suddenly on the table?"

This is perfect in every way.

I wanted to make a play on "Jakey Jakey, about to make a big mistake-y" with his real name but it wouldn't have worked.

Farewell, Chris Evans.* I shall miss you and your glorious backside.

Well, Evans better get ready for the taunts.

For the heck of it, I counted it up; Evans has been in Avengers, Captain America, Captain America 2 and will be in Avengers 2. So he has 5 to go*. (And I've seen other stories estimating that'd take him through 2017 before he'd be done.)

I'm really with you, Madeleine, with the exception of Keira Knightly. She's an actress who has been both in box office blockbusters and acclaimed indie movies— that takes away from your argument, to be honest, which I generally think is a solid one. But the rest, especially Kate Bosworth and Sienna Miller—completely.

I would edit "guys" out and replace it with people.

Yeah, but are they offended because it's a callback to centuries of institutionalized brutality and oppression, or because it's some black guy making fun of them?

Whiteface is weird and a little creepy, but not offensive to me. Maybe other white people find it offensive, and it's not my place to say how white people feel. I enjoy the trend of making fun of white people. We really, really deserve it.

or penning crappy pro-life songs, which is something new I learned today

Part-time famous person who makes jokes

I think he's primarily a husband at this point.

Gross. But I'm more disturbed by that song thanking his mother for not aborting him. What the huh?

Is it just me, or is Nick Cannon always just incredibly late to the game? I feel like he's the kid running after the cool crowd offering to run errands for them in the high school movie. Biting Stuff White People Like & White Chicks makeup ... in 2014. He seems behind the times, always.

This is going to be good.

Seriously, dude, don't mess with the greats.