At this point, I am just glad he wasn’t shot.

BEAUTY THREAD!

Well done.

Been there, got the toddler poop on my hands to prove it. The best was when my kid went by himself in a stall at Costco, did his bizness, shuffled out, pants around ankles, to where I was standing with the line of women waiting to use the crapper, and yells “mama, I made a poop and it’s SO GREEN! COME SEE MY GREEN…

I had a colonoscopy scheduled for the day after and I had to take all these laxatives. It was also the last day my long distance boyfriend was in town.(he lived on the other side of the world) My thought process was: the laxatives will take at least 10 hours to work, he’s going to be on a plane by that time.

I read a comment on Buzzfeed once that went into details about how this girl had gone on a date and made it back to the guy’s house only to have to poop. She did but the toilet clogged and there was no plunger nearby. She grabbed toilet paper and wrapped it carefully, then PUT IT IN HER PURSE, then returned to the…

Story 1: So, let me offer the following backstory: I’m lactose intolerant. That’s it, that’s the whole backstory.

Oh omg this just reminded me so vividly of my own similar experience: I was in college, watching a movie with this guy I was sort of seeing. Not a lot of comfort between us, yet, is what I mean. Still in the hiding our farts phase. But I really liked him. He lived in an old house with a bunch of housemates but they…

That was an excellent selection. Although I wish it was one entry longer because the one about the guy on the Craigslist date with the guy who worked real estate and was making noises in the basement was terrifying. I thought about that story for DAYS after I read it. Scary as hell.

So ur with ur honey and yur making out wen the phone rigns. U anser it n the vioce is “wut r u doing wit my daughter?” U tell ur girl n she say “my dad is ded”. THEN WHO WAS PHONE?

“We didn’t have an armoire.”

The show was on two days ago. It’s not fair to expect everyone to embargo because you haven’t seen it.

Colourpop has free international shopping at the moment so I made a massive order since I can never justify paying $30 for shipping on their stuff since $30 is a pretty substantial order from them. I got eight of the ultra matte lip colours, three ultra satin, one of the metallic, a value set of the lippie stix, a…

SHE’S HOME!!! And she seems like she’s feeling much better. We’re about to settle in and watch some scary movies. Thanks again to all of y’all who have been sweet and supportive. SHE’S very much looking forward to being Gerard Way from the Black Parade period of My Chemical Romance for Halloween. Haha.

BEAUTY THREAD!

My house is bursting with Star Wars right now. There are small Jedi running about with lightsabers. There’s a lot of screaming. And my baby is five years old. Aaaaahhh. How did that happen?

You know what, it’s quite plausible that she’s devastated at the thought of not having her dad in her life

This poor, poor little girl. You know what, it’s quite plausible that she’s devastated at the thought of not having her dad in her life - abuse within families is as complicated as it is horrific, and it could not be clearer that the adults in her life are encouraging her feelings of loss and guilt, rather than those…

This is less scary and just paranormal..

Every goddamn year, I open this story LIKE A SUCKER while I’m on the toilet pooping. And now I’m afraid to move.