You can keep your “WELL LET ME TELL YA SOMETHIN’, MENE GENE!”s, because there was only one way to address Okerlund:

Schrodinger’s Boondoggle.

I work in TV, we had to carry this, and I know one thing: I really, really, really, really, really wish everyone in the media would just ignore this asshole already. But nope, we’re going to jump on every special report and every presser this moron wants to do.

I don’t know if I’m even going to make it out of 2019,…

God, I never even considered that. Fuck, well, there goes my good mood for the day.

2019:

Less Proud Boys,
More Round Boys.

Hopefully the Navy command figured he’d do something like this and just put a bunch of seamen in the uniforms and just told him they were Special Operations Forces.

Somebody better call his Momma.

Carnies gonna carny.

And DJ’s been claimed off waivers by his old team, the Cards.

Not that that’s going to do him any good, they’re even farther in the basement that Washington, but he gets paid and he’ll have a jersey for the Pro Bowl.

I will never, NEVER, give up the dream that somehow, some way, Nate Peterman is QB on a team that’s coached by Ben McAdoo.

Can someone at Kinja figure out a way to give multiples of stars for one post? I’m tired of creating burner accounts just to try to get this post 1000 stars.

Excellent timing for this to happen just as the govt. is finishing it’s yearly health care registration period (such as it was).

Perhaps a little too excellent...

...why the hell would a communications director wait for you to reach out to her when she already knew that you were asking about the story from the Warriors?

And why would the Warriors reach out to her to clue her into the fact that you were inquiring about the story?

*scratches chin*

I seriously can’t figure how anyone who supports him can look at this all and not go “Yeah...why am I supporting a guy who constantly lies and takes vacations more than the black guy we all hate?”

Although I suspect it’s because the news that they get never have obvious stories like this, and only parrots the “good”…

“Usually” “good” “people”.

When this is all done, I hope the FBI give Bob Mueller the safe that they kept all of the Individual 1 files in.

As much as you think the Eagles fans are insufferable, if that happens, holy shit, what a story.

It more than likely won’t happen, but I’ve got no skin in the game, so the Iggles going from the brink of elimination to winning the Super Bowl again would be amazing, and what the NFL deserves.

No no, you’re not playing the 4D chess that the president is playing, this is how they’re going to get out of all of this!
-Kushner will negotiate a Midweast peace deal, and since it doesn’t exist, it will be easy and be hailed as an amazing, presidency defining deal. Meanwhile, Israel will wipe out the Palestinians.
-Da…

*sees The Worse Media Company Of The Year*
Oh, you fucking marks for yourselves! How dare all of you!
*sees Sportsman Of The Year*
OK, all is forgiven.