This is such a tremendous idea, and Armando is an national treasure for both America and Britain.

This is definitely going to be the thing that gets Sessions fired.

GET ME CLICKS, LIKES, AND SUBSCRIBES OF SPIDER-MAN!!!!

...And you guys believed that?

I mean, I know you guys have to report what you’re officially told, but...you guys believed that?

Man, how can you not root for this woman and this team (if you’re not fans of the opposing teams, of course.) If she doesn’t win the MVP, even if they don’t advance, then what was the point?

*Peterman gets put into the ground on the first play against Baltimore, goes in for concussion protocol*

The Cleveland Browns: “OH THANK GOD!”
The pressure’s finally off of the Browns. This, ladies and gents, is your new 0-16 team. And it couldn’t happen at a better time.

My former team fucking sucks.

Right...”becoming”...

I never thought I’d live to see the day when The Fountainhead went from being an insane screed about rich people leaving the country to live isolated from the rest of us to what I secretly wish would fucking happen already because fuck all of these assholes.

Holy christ, what a disaster that was.
It’s a good thing Marc Molinaro is a complete lunatic, because no one came out of this looking good.
Nixon’s entire platform seems to be that the MTA trains suck (a valid concern). But man, she is way out of her element here. Which, I guess, that’s good? But she’s gonna get chewed…

I’m so playing this game, and if they called it Asshole Goose, I may buy 5 copies for 5 random people with Switches.

Fuck this guy. I hope he does jail time. That is all.

Reports that the Texas GOP were overheard screaming “WE’RE NOT GAY, WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP SAYING THAT, CHRIST, I WONDER WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE?!?!” as they posted those tweets could not be confirmed at press time.

My former supervisor who I wasn’t all that crazy about but got along with is a Vikings fan, and that was annoying enough. The supervisor that replaced him was a giant fucking dickhead who drove me out of the job, and he’s a Saints fan. I hope the next time they play against each other, the field falls into the center…

The Music City Miracle was a fraud. It was a forward pass, and all of you cowards know it.

“This (flat out racist/sexist thing) does not reflect his/her values or beliefs” is the racial/sexist version of invoking “thoughts and prayers” when there’s a mass shooting. Are we all in agreement in that, and that all of that is completely goddamn phony?

Stan Kroenke is such a terrible owner, he could own every football team, and all of those teams would finish tied at 0-0-16. They would rule that they statistically can’t even have a Playoffs, and Stan would get shot into the sun.

Kroenke got straight clowned by Vince McMahon because Raw was booked the same night as a…

Yeah, I was going to add that, sadly, Young Sheldon... >:(