Aw, dammit. Stupid pants.

No Christianity? Catholic? Every Religion ever which are cults.

Poor guy, cut him some slack. If I remember correctly it was his neighbor who, knowing he was in financial trouble, suggested the deal, only to later rat him out to the feds in the hopes he’d get a reduced sentence in another ongoing drug-related trial.

Or, you know, require both hands for driving.

An onboard OBD reader. Instead of giving you just a Check Engine Light, it’ll actually give you codes and any additional information.

God that chick has really let herself go since Dawson's Creek was cancelled.

All that and no LaForza? Whatever shall I do?

Brake lights that flash when ABS is active to warn those behind you. Need to get this past regulation.

WHY DO I ONLY HAVE 10 DAYS NOTICE? Do you realize how much work I have to take off right now to watch all of Top Gear?!

this is all I see

Absolutely. Like I said on Twitter, these are very easy jokes to write at 12:31 am on a Saturday night after karting. Your right, it's probably not perfectly in the Jalopnik reader wheelhouse, but it's another smart product for a brand that's suddenly made a lot of smarter decisions.

I live in Dallas, and although I'm "technically" one of them, I can't stand the spoiled shits from here (I wasn't born in Texas luckily). Privileged and under appreciating of their fortunate lives, and completely materialistic and devoid of culture. It's this non-chalant, better than thou behavior of Dallas kids that…

You already told us the answer last week.. Delorean

As long as it took out a Chevy Aveo in the process, I'm happy.

This is why I love Jalopnik.
I want to see many many more posts like this.