*Wyoming Courtroom, Preliminary Hearing* 

Where did the Moose touch you?

Probably the same way his parents criminally entered that ‘e’ in there.

Asking for a friend, Will wanking while looking at the eclipse make you extra blind?

As editor in chief of Splinter, I must state that Splinter does not endorse Hamilton Nolan’s views about the eclipse. I do, however, support him emotionally.

I’m assuming they based their lifestyle on this::

I mean, you’re a game journalist, of course you’re in the wrong line of work.

In Dominican, steroids buy you.

44. A 12 year old turning a Derek Jeter fly out into a home run

This is fucking fantastic.

The thing about shit-talking Waiters is that sometimes they spit in your food.

So, just so I’m clear:

The guy who’s led the league in regular season ERA like four of the past five years, yes. Bumgarner in the playoffs, so long as he doesn’t take a dirt bike off the mound in pregame.

Pretty sure that’s what he’s saying.

Just to save everyone some time: