Actually I kind of think everyone’s reading this column wrong.

Jezebel is generally a lot more ‘fun feminist’ than anything else. I come here mostly for the commenting community rather than the authors. After the Hairpin (and The Awl) died I’ve been trying to find a replacement but no luck yet.

The person who wrote in can’t have romance without sex and that’s what everything is speaking to. Not as a mention of everybody’s damn relationship ever.

Wait are you talking about Prudence? Because the original one left and has since been replaced by Mallory Ortberg, who I’ve always liked - mostly because she loves Jane Austen as much as I do.

For real! - The whole gag was that they’re Heathers because they all came from the same mold (except for Our Sensitive Heroine, natch). They were the interchangeable Everypopulargirl who ruled Everyclique in Your High School, USA. Methinks the whole joke is lost on this generation or something!

Heathers is one of my all-time favorite films. It is what I watch on Netflix or Blu-ray or whatever for comfort. I not only quote it often, I even recently bought a fucking t-shirt referencing the film. Having said all that I will say what I said when this was first announced for TV Land (and also what I said when the…

Wait...they’re trying to DIVERSIFY the Heathers?

Exactly. This looks like shit.

Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn. And she was so young too. Wow.

THESE SCENES WERE SO GOOD.

It’s definitely held up, but at the same time can you imagine it being made today? I can’t. Someone would leak a page of the script and the internet would shriek FUCK ME GENTLY WITH A CHAINSAW?!?!??! WHY ARE WE BEING SO BLASÉ ABOUT SEXUAL VIOLENCE?! Quick, someone make a hashtag and start a boycott!

Yuck. Heathers was the kind of lightning in a bottle weirdness that always sucks when people try to reboot it.

Nah.

It should be called “Madisons” or “Taylors”.

Right? Like, that’s the fucking point of it. Conformity is bad for the soul. And yet, here were... jfc.

What is their damage? Did they eat a brain tumor for breakfast?

Yeah, no. Hard pass.

I’m sorry; I can’t get on board. The original Heathers was perfect. No one asked for this bullshit.

The video was absolutely pretty and well done. Luscious in many places. The song makes her sound like a Fergie wanna-be, though. Awful.

I don’t know why this whole thing she’s doing right now makes me full body cringe from second hand embarrassment. It’s just so tacky. At the end where she’s all ‘I want to be excluded from this narrative’ I outloud ‘Me too’. She’s definitely someone I would have just stopped answering the messages of irl.