His face looks like a perpetually clinched butthole.

Don’t forget to grab our casserole dish on the way out, Mother.

Yeah, Grogan doesn’t look so bad considering all the hits he took.

Rodrigo y Gabriela when I need to focus

I know plenty of New England dad’s who would offer up their kids.

“Got thrown out again. That blind-as-a-bat Hemmerling for Mitchell thinks we go to the games just to see him.” (he grumbles to the Applebee’s bartender)

You also missed that the assailant was the girl’s brother, not parent. OPEN YOUR EYES, REF!

This is also what I do. And my name is Matt. Are you me?

“Buddy fucking Hield and a jar of finger nail clippings.”

Well the blame would be put squarely on the Eagles for not listening to their current head coach.

Anquan Boldin. Tough as nails, certainly not gonna blow you away with speed.

You got a ring? All I got was a black eye for wearing my Tyree jersey to Gillette Stadium.

This is getting old, these jokes are really falling....dammit.

Still waiting for Embiid to hit ‘em with the Hein.

It’s Jaylen Brown and Jayson Tatum and who are you calling a homer?!?!

Baynes was so good because Kyrie kept setting him up perfectly though. He had a bad (like, horribly bad) shooting night minutes 13-44, but he played well in other areas.

This didn’t hit me until I read your comment that I might actually be raising a pre-poop pee-er.

A certain dog killer could chuck the ball almost as well righty.

Denying someone a treat for their beliefs, just like Jesus would have wanted.

We’re just like that bus in Speed, gotta keep it above 50 and we’ll be all set.