At least that column didn’t say “New York FOOTBALL Giants”

“Baseball, rightly, doesn’t want any more of its players to die this way. And so they may end up testing players to make sure they stay alive. Baseball will do this for safety reasons”

My galaxy brain take is to tip my hat to the publicist (probably coordinated through the Rock’s team) who did very little damage to any of these action stars while promoting the Hobbs and Shaw movie and the GQ article about his stunt double/cousin, all under the cover of “leaked info” and a backdoor deal with WSJ.

I read this at my drab corporate desk on a Friday morning and gasped “she did NOT” so thanks as always for bringing light into my life Joan.

This sentence implies something much more scandalous than the actual situation (I hope!)

1) I would read any article with a headline pun this good.

Quick typo alert: It’s Madilyn (Madeline?) not Marilyn.

Karlie Kloss Kushner? KKK? wake up sheeple.

Here’s my eternal question: why not just be a rich fucked-up family with a patriarch who was VP and all of the attendant deferential windfall that comes with that? There’s incremental upside and huge downside reputationally to plunging yourself and your family into a presidential campaign. (Yes I realize this exposes…

The actual leather sex bench probably costs twice as much.

Kacey Musgraves wears everything better, let’s be honest.

The ongoing and incidental promotion of Party City gives me lyfe, Joan.

Boarding a boat in the North Atlantic while trying to pretend you’re not on a boat is... willfully ignorant. All of these people should sue Viking into oblivion, and cruise ships shouldn’t be allowed to portray themselves as equal to hotels on land (and their “safety demos” at the beginning are hilariously inept…

Hold up, his name is Regory??

At least be intelligent with your nepotism. A $500k direct investment in your kid’s beauty vlog plus a Hallmark Channel co-branding opportunity has a much higher ROI than the negative value created by the $500k bribe plus tuition, rent, and drug money to go to USC. If I was rich, and my kid was not naturally into the…

What kills me is that Robin Thicke (who came across as a skeevy weirdo doing his best to stick to his musical training and prove why he should totally be in pop culture again) was correct WEEKS earlier about the “distinct vibrato” of Gladys Knight. At the time, I thought there was no way *she* would be on a reality…

Troop Beverly Hills is a wonderful movie! Its thirtieth anniversary means it’s been about that long since I went to a sleepover for a girl who was in the next grade of my split class, fell asleep during that movie, and woke up with chewed gum in my hair.

DATA and ANALYTICS are not the same! Stop using them interchangeably sports dorks!!!!!

Both “cast aspersions” and “anthropomorphism” are underused in our current discourse so I immediately love this Bear Expert and hope a movie gets made about him instead of this 2019 balloon boy.

I just can’t tell you how much I appreciate this column. I loved Bobby Finger’s work and I might love Joan Summers more. I’m a snarky, tab-loving lady that currently has young children to raise and this summary is like a Vitamin D injection into my veins of what I used to get organically. Namaste.