DAMMIT! Wait was it Val Kilmer?

Fun story- I’m an old and when my sister was like 10 she saw “Real Genius” at a slumber party and loved it so much we rented it for our new Betamax. My mother saw the “Nutcracker suite” part and lost her shit. Called the mother of the girl who had the party and excoriated the mother for showing PORNOGRAPHY to…

One could almost say she's been "Baranskied"...

I will be watching and hoping for Evan Peters and Kate Winslet to come out holding hands to present for like best lighting or something. And they will be holding hands because they always hold hands when they see each other ♡♡ Also Jean Smart RULES THE SCHOOL!!

So- 63 inches of shit or 67 inches of shit- who cares? It's still shit...

And here I was looking forward to the reveal of "Ellie Kemper Presents the AV Club". You guys dodged a bullet this time. 

Hey gang- Good on you for correcting the headline and adding your disclaimer. Nice job keeping in “Kemper was 19 years old when she was selected to be the Queen Of Love And Beauty. At that age, teenagers are mature enough to know what they’re being part of.” Which is just a stupid fucking statement. Thank goodness…

Hey AV Club management-

I would however pay serious coin to see a Kate Winslet-Evan Peters romcom. I want MORE from Evan. MORE!!

The thing with Miguel chasing the kids around for hugs was the most realistic family thing I’ve seen on this show. I think things are different these days because adults are more aware of respecting kids’ boundaries and personal space. But in the 70s/80s, you just kind of had to “smile” and put up with it. It ended up…

Please God no.

Man after the kiss last week and the shock of losing her handsome young partner- having Ol’ Richard show up with his weak-ass gift basket looking like he just rolled out of bed at the Motel 6, I half expected to hear, “Womp WOMP.” And then have him start talking about how feline AIDS is the number one killer of cats.

That was my introduction to him and I could never really get past what he did to poor Rosemary.

He’s doing a great job too! Plays normal, competent and funny really well!

(Tangent) “Sharp Objects” reminded me of the movie where Meg Ryan dyed her hair brown, smoked cigarettes, talked like Elizabeth Holmes, had rando sex and was a cop. And this movie did NOT at least have cutie Chris Messina. And yes it was even worse than it sounds. (End tangent).

She didn’t technically turn them both down..

So who's a better catch for Mare? Realistically speaking- Richard, but ha-cha-cha gotta be Colin. Real life? Step up for Evan Peters. Step up for Guy Pierce. 

I CANNOT WAIT

Well played, HBO. I will see your brilliant casting move and raise you my imminent bingewatch of this show. He better be “Big Little Lies” level of hotness. Kidman-worthy.

I am HERE. FOR. THIS.