That's funny, that's actually where I KEEP my Doritos for handy snacking.

Oh good, I thought I was the only crazy person!

Every time I see the phrase "skid row" I instantly get this stuck in my head.

I think Khloe might make a good Little Edie...

Yes, because an abusive partner who threatens you with a gun will always be totally respectful and reasonable when you tell them you want to break up.

And add to that the fact that the guy holding her at gunpoint, her husband, lived with her children. Who would resist knowing that the guy who might just kill you for doing so would be going home to your children afterwards? He had already shot at and threatened to kill her daughter if Mary went to the police.

Oh Jesus, will they never learn?

No, that's not what anyone is saying at all:

Yup, that's a reasonably sized rat. 40cm, for our metric friends.

Hey, rats can make great pets.

Just want to leave this here.

I love her. That said, as a woman who does comedy I am really fucking tired of the new female comedian of the moment always being crowned "The New Queen of Comedy." Comedy is not a single country that can only be ruled by one woman at a time. There is room for a bunch of different women at the table. Also, it's not…

Sunnie, my sweetheart, come over here. I want to give you a hug, and then we can practice this dance together on the front lawn of your former school...

I know she won't do it, but please please please, Posh… do it at least once so I can see this again.

Sic the bees on her!

An audio recording of Oprah telling me to "cut the bullshit" is all I need to motivate myself for anything ever.

My sister goes sometimes and last year all she could say about the festival was that all the younguns wore shorts that were essentially "denim thongs," and she got like, sympathy chafe. Ow ow ow

"while that was not the intent, the perception became reality" really fucking irks me

OH.MY.GOD

Sean Penn uses all of his mojo acting, so much so that he never seems to be able to muster any other mood or behavior besides "petulant, bored 14-year-old" in any other situation.