“Smith is gonna get me hurt”.

“Harris, I want you to get out there and suck the shit out of 87’s dick. He’ll never have a chance to get off the line!”

So the Broncos are trying to sway the officials by complaining that Brady tries to sway the officials.

HEY! LAY OFF ROVELL, DAMN IT!

It would make more sense to say he’d restructure our tax code so that Apple couldn’t hoard $35 billion overseas.

Not only is Manning aware that he regularly hits the deck, but he also knows the officials won’t always end the play there. It’s a very specific “play to the whistle” counsel for his receivers.

Not like ESPN to fabricate stories about the Patriots.

The NFL tests for marijuana, so instead of inhaling smoke or vapor from a plant, guys choose to put this chemical nightmare into their bodies. Drug policy across the board is broken and incentivizes behavior that leads to awful shit like this.

So, uhh, it’s legal, it doesn’t break NFL rules, and Jones didn’t miss any meetings or practices? Seems like this falls into the same general category as getting blackout drunk on a non-work-night. Not the most responsible behavior, but doesn’t seem like it should lead the national news, either.

Gronk has been proven to be in Florida over the weekend. Doesn’t mean CJ couldn’t be at his house, but Gronk was not involved in any capacity.

12. Horrific motorboating accident.

Remember when Christopher Hitchens got waterboarded to challenge his own views? Can we unleash Vontaze Burfict on this motherfucker?

Counterpoint: