It’s just a new iteration of mystery vending machine toys. Just a different delivery system and a heck of a lot more expensive.

Very nice article! Unfortunately all of my car racing knowledge comes from the Kenny Rogers’ movie Six Pack. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to try to track down some pics of this track in its prime.

And having a loaded bolter never hurt, either.

Car Guy, Disney font.

That last picture is giving me Night of the Creeps flashbacks. That movie terrified the crap out of me as a kid. Thanks for the trauma reminder, Kotaku!

Good Lord, I miss gaming. Sadly, everyone I know locally who used to play got married and their wives were not fans so the games dried up. Granted, the best games ever were those in and just after high school where the real world hadn’t quite sunk in yet. Still, I wish I had the opportunity to partake these days.

Good Lord, do I miss CoH. I miss Global Heroics. I miss hanging around Perez Park and randomly healing lower level characters. I miss the tram stations. I miss the bright colors and trying to make costumes that didn’t suck. I miss the introduction of capes and the quest to get a witch’s hat. I miss waiting for the…

...the first ever St. Patrick’s Day parade was held in Boston in 1737.

You magnificent bastard.

I’ve been mauled by dogs twice in my life. Once as a toddler and once in high school. I’m not only still terrified of them to this day, but I absolutely frigging hate dogs. I hate them. (Sorry dog lovers.)

My default jelly for a PB&J isn’t even jelly at all. It’s strawberry jam. I know grape jelly is the default jelly for most people there, but I like strawberry better.

Nope. With a great sense of superiority and I try to force it on everyone else.

As someone in the Deep South who uses their turn signal religiously, I would like to second your request. I don’t mind getting it again if the rest of those asswits on the road would pay attention.

Go the whole hog, I say. I wish I could around here.

The kitty looks a wee bit freaked out in that last pic.

Welp. Trypticon is a favorite. I had ten of those suckers when I was a kid, trading good toys for broken ones from other kids or just using my lunch money to buy Tryppy as others aged out of TFs. Sadly, I have none any more. Until this beast comes out! I haven’t bought a TF toy in forever, not since Masterpiece…

The most monetized, evil, rage-inducing version of this mechanic I’ve ever experienced is in Kamen Rider Storm (now Transcend) Heroes. It wasn’t too bad when the game came out, but when they raised the character power/rarity cap from 4-stars to 5-stars it went right down the crapper. They started scaling the weekly…

I read that as giant electric dong. I really need to lay off the cold meds.

True. She kind of looks like Tim Conway from a couple of angles, too.