Sounds like you meet the criteria, though.

Kudos to the arresting officer. I’d have summarily executed Anderson for that, which is exactly why I’m not a cop and do not own any firearms.

Time served for being a Jet is being taken in to consideration.

I love this for the many times the officer would have to relate that story to friends and co-workers.

I’d tell the officer’s wife to sleep with one eye open, but that doesn’t seem like the best advice in this case.

He’ll probably get off...

“Jokes on you, Robby. My wife has a nut allergy, which is why we can’t even have sex anymore.”

Anderson now facials up to a year in jail.

This has nothing to do with the potholes or the design of the ramp. He was going too fast or not paying attention or something, but he is 100% at fault. I drive the same ramp every day, and sometimes I am even going over the posted limit (gasp!) But I am not texting or playing with my radio or otherwise not paying…

Then pretty much ran into the road to avoid it all. Thats when I really puckered up.

I don’t think they’re going to be inclined to spend the money...

I guess Michigan should ramp up road repairs soon...

If my grandkids ever ask me what it was like to live during the Obama years, I’ll just show them a two-second clip of Bill O’Reilly spitting out the word “arugula” like it killed his mother.

I know he’s really, really smart and like a genius but I’m thinking he may not understand ecosystems and the food web and whatnot. Or how shit works in general.

Probably because they can’t guarantee that they won’t inadvertently spend some of that money to protect sharks. “I hope all the sharks die.” I kind of understand people with bee allergies being scared of bees, but why the hell would this idiot hate sharks? He doesn’t swim.

Not true, he has his own charitable foundations that he launders money through.

You read something like this, and you can’t help but be reminded that a few years ago this country was ROCKED by the scandal of a president wearing a tan suit and eating dijon mustard on a burger.

He doesn’t donate to charity.

How have I not heard about that Agriprocessors CEO sentence being commuted before now? Looking into the story more just makes this make even less sense. The guy had almost 400 undocumented immigrants working for him, isn’t this the kind of person that Trump doesn’t like? Oh wait no he commited fraud and money…

Well, this is a massive waste of everyone’s time and resources.