Yes. So make up some amazing shit for them to hear.

That kid is going to be sent to Mars in a rocket like Superman 

Maybe she's there to comment on her father's increasing dementia.  

Apparently they had fond memories of you as a teacher.

Mark Z employees body doubles to make him seem more like a regular human.  

I have no choice but to commute. I work in a rural area with no public transportation. I do car pool with a coworker. And my daily driver is a Honda Civic 

Some innovative hacker is going to figure out a way to brick all Sonos speakers.

This is where a ala carte cable service would be great.

I was surprised the Gillibrand bailed so soon. I thought she would have had enough cash to last until Iowa. 

Looks like increasing the number of cameras is the only thing they could think of to justify increasing the price.

I enjoy a good bowl of ramen. But, I can go to a restaraunt and get a bowl with pork and veggies for $11. I’d rather drive 10 minutes and spend the $3

Customer demanding a 15 year old Bordeux and some carpaccio.

Ask yourself one basic question, “Is it cheap enough?”

My biggest problem with Solo was that the main character wasn’t as interesting as the side characters.

My biggest problem with Solo was that the main character wasn’t as interesting as the side characters.

She practically came when she gazed into his eyes. The sex is just the afterglow. 

I want to be the 30th person to say this.

Most Trump loving conservatives, from what I have seen,  will gladly share anything that is obviously false,  but confirms their bias. 

Feel free to regift it. Most servers I know run on caffeine.  

Starbucks gift cards are always appreciated.