Didn’t realize that my current shit worth is zero or in the negative, and that canned haggis, global thermonuclear war, and daylight saving time are all better ideas than “Ask a Lawyer.” Thanks for this moment of self-realization. Going up to the cabin for few weeks to fix this for you.

Or maybe it’s just a look into the interesting questions we attorneys get every.single.day without the awkward, sure, I can help you, but it will cost you $x,xxx.xx (add x’s as you see fit) followed by a 20 minute conversation revolving around the ideas of “Justice,” “fairness,” “what is right,” the Constitution and…

It’s almost like you didn’t read the disclaimer at the bottom of the column.