Randy has never sounded better.

Years ago when I was slaving away in a corporate office, I did 2 things to try and fit in with my “desk grouping” of people. One was watch the bachelor for a few episodes, and the other was listen to a certain morning radio show. It’s all my teammates ever talked about- they loved this shit! Both were absolutely awful…

My smelling salts, please.

Paging Randilyn. Randilyn, please come to the white courtesy phone.

I bet they have a pickpocket monkey living in their crawspace. That seems the most logical explanation to me.

It’s probably just a harmless sloth.
See the resemblance:

I hope she spritzed a little Gap “Grass” scented body spray behind her ears. And when I say a little, I mean half the bottle

$99 a month healthcare? I’d vote for him.

Maybe steroids?

I need dis as a palette cleanser...

“Hello, I’m Todd Dominos, the CEO of Dominos Pizza. We’ve heard your criticism loud and clear, and we are not meeting your standards. Six years ago we tried improving the quality of our pizza, but we still didn’t earn back your trust. That is why each delivery person is now a certified bounty hunter. Not only do we…

I always read his name as Broder Jenny and then correct myself. I have the same problem with Channum Tating.

A few years ago I found my iPod that had been missing since I was 16

oh shit i forgot to add

Completely off topic, but I was hoping not to laugh anymore today after this, because it hurts

I may too.

Make tea. It hits you sooner and you can steep in some peppermint tea for nausea and honey to mask the nasty. This is the best way.

Counterpoint: Milk is delicious.