Never. This will never be funny. This will never be “remember that time your crazy old coot of an uncle drank too much at Thanksgiving, passed out, and started screaming racial epithets...yeah, that was cutely embarrassing.”

*taking notes*

Schreier’s blurb here is less a reaction than it is an announcement of established fact.

If you’re using the final line of the article (“the sacrifices we make”) as your metric for overreaction, then I have some really awful news about how the rest of the world operates.

A more fitting punishment is to tell them they are getting 5 years probation and then jail them for a year. That would be a great reaction vid.

Like I said to my daughter, if I ever play a trick on her it will never be nasty or harmful and she will always laugh or have something enjoyable at the end of it. Like the time we tricked her into thinking we were just having a nice breakfast for her Gran’s birthday but really we had arranged for us to go to…

To me a “prank” is something silly and genuinely funny, not something that sends people into tears before you pull the “just kidding.”

I’m honestly annoyed even by those “I ate your Halloween candy...JUST KIDDING!” videos. I mean, why would you think it’s funny to mess with your child’s trust in their parents?

It was a “They’re just pranks bro, why are we being attacked! Also sorry i guess” video. So four steps down from that.

- The Gorons subsist on rocks and minerals. It’s possible that the “painkillers” had yet to be mined.

The unfortunate truth is that hate groups thrive on this sort of mentality.

Seems like you haven’t been there lately.

I know this is a pretty damn graphically demanding game and could be really, really taxing on the Switch hardware, putting it at risk of melting and shit, but surely the geniuses at Capcom can figure something out?

I agree. I vote Jalopnik send him a sticker so he can get a Jalopnik bump on that mower.

When a thing happens it is either one outcome or it is not that outcome.

But sometimes it doesn’t.

That’s like saying that when you flip a coin it lands on a side.

He is quite nice. When I spoke to him last year (I think at E3) the first thing he said was that he hoped everything was OK at Kotaku. (You may recall that last summer was, uh, a dramatic time for our company.) 

This was funny.

To be honest, the cops probably can explain why they handcuffed/detained Bennett.

He’d like him to answer for being black, obviously.