Hello my darling children.

Hello friend.

Say what you will about Assassin's Creed's obsession with centuries-spanning shadow organizations at the heart of needlessly elaborate conspiracy theories, at least they didn't try to argue that Jack the Ripper was a Freemason.

Although the prevailing rumour is that 2017's instalment is going to set the clock all the way back to Ancient Egypt (potentially compelling, I'll admit), what I really want is for the series to make good on the tease it gave in Syndicate of a main series entry set during World War I or II. It would necessarily raise…

That would have been way more interesting, but no, he's literally just some guy.

I'm glad you asked because despite having played it in its entirety, I'm not totally sure how to answer that. For the majority of the game it's what the kids are (often derisively, usually unfairly) calling a "walking simulator", where your means of interacting with the world is limited to travelling through it and…

One of the many reasons that the latest re-releases of Final Fantasies VII and IX is so interesting: they implement new "fast-forward" and "disable encounters" options that can be toggled at any time. Probably just a quality-of-life inclusion, but features like this would make long-haul games like these much more…

Woo hey. Okay, Ludology 101 by topic:

Hello friends, you are all my beloved children.

1. The best use of plaidweave.

Any game that lets you apply purely cosmetic tweaks to your character comes this much closer to winning my heart. It's all well and good when different armour sets actually look different on your model, but then if you find something that looks really cool, you might one day have to replace it with something that…

This statement is tragically true of so many games.

Seeing people pair Max with Warren is weird, but arguably makes some form of sense kinda. Seeing people pair Max with Nathan is just, like, what the fuck game are you people playing cuz it isn't the same one I'm playing.

Pricefield > Marshfield > every other ship, not just in Life Is Strange but all other media everywhere.

Yeah, I doubt that the entire industry will slowly creep towards highly realistic clothing textures and physics all at once, I think it's much more likely that one studio or creator will pour time and resources into getting it right because it's important for their specific project, and once they've cracked that nut,…

You're bang on with your observation about water and moisture being a hallmark of the previous console generation. Dan Floyd, the host/co-creator of Extra Credits, is doing a Let's Play of Dark Souls right now, and in one of the earliest episodes he and James Portnow mentioned the game's sliminess as being…

I…

I've only been in, like, three fights so far, so it hasn't seemed so bad, but it's certainly nowhere near as cool as the upside-down platforming and approach-from-all-angles level exploration. The exploration rewards are actually pretty minor so far—basically just upgrade currency—but the act of collecting them alone…

I'm insane and I know it.

Dang homie, I never knew you were a member of team Playing Video Games Through Flare Ups Of Chronic Health Conditions. A few years back I played through Final Fantasies VII and IX, Suikodens I and II, Vandal Hearts, and Wild Arms over a particularly rough summer. Hope you start feeling better soon eh.