Nothing says "I do" like a bridegroom with a boner.

Yeah, this is true. Leave my cervix alone, long penises. That is not for you. That is mine. Do not touch. Thank you.

You mean two decades?

Weak troll attempt

Yeah that's my bad, sorry. I edited my comment to add the US thing then realized when I did a search for "US" tags that it turned up a main page of 99% Midweek Madness tabloid stories, virtually no news, so the comparison was irrelevant. Re-edited it out again to only include Ireland as I had originally posted.…

Clits*, you're* and oophorectomy (removal of the ovaries) would be the female equivalent

Hey, what can he do? Mysterious ways and all that.

I have the same hip-waist ratio. Argh!

I don't see how letting drunk drivers roam free is any good either. Sorry. Try again.

You are loved. Enjoy your ice cream and Vampire Diaries.

Is she ok?

The entire article where I found those was quite entertaining!

Im so depressed that all I can do is hate-watch the Vampire Diaries and eat ice cream. I dont know how to do anything in life. My acne is flairing up so bad and I am hideous. No one loves me and Im all alone. Also I hate my job. Sometimes I hate my best friend too.

You managed to wait till 430? I admire your restraint

As is George Constanza.

I got a new job in my field that pays $15k more a year than the job I have been working at. My close friend somehow made it all about her and the start-up her and her boyfriend are starting. We work together and I am so happy to leave that job and that friendship behind.

They'll likely kill you in the morning.

Clearly, the Dread Pirate Crunch is taking no prisoners.

I dunno. I'm high right now and I'm still not wanting one.