Oh, I thought this was going to be a video of him using ether. I grew up in the 80s.

She is just ridiculously beautiful.

Right? Burying the lede right there.

I would watch the hell out of a reality show about Nicki Minaj's wig guru. Just saying.

THAT is "staring in a sexual way."

Which loser will use the robotic hair transplant?

Am I a little extra dopey today? I just don't understand this sentence — hung up on the 'understood' part. "But Lululemon is too big now to be understood for those mistakes that would once have been forgiven by longtime customers."

"a lot of hilarious, memorable things"? A lot??? Examples please.

And they all returned tires to Nordstrom. And Nordstrom took them back!

Hermione Gingold disapproves.

Who's running this joint? Joe Arpaio?

Honestly, I wouldn't have even thought the mall had been built yet in 1990 — that it was still the fairgrounds. But I was in college then so I really don't recall.

I was at that very gross mall yesterday and will be at Branchville in about an hour. Neighbor?

Bullshit. There is no store in Danbury, Conn., that sells Christian Dior.

I don't like it. I don't know why; I just don't. But I don't know you so if you like it, hey, go for it.

Harry should've ended up with one of the Beauxbatons girls. That's when ya got something.

She was awful in both. Just the worst. I wish she'd died.

No. They're fine. What she should regret is pairing up Harry and Ginny. She was the worst. All the charm of an empty bucket.

Your mom is the best lunch lady ever.