Dear Everyone,

Whatevs. I have owned 0 tablets, 1 cheap ass smartphone, and 3 hotplates. Samsung knows the way to my heart.

Wait, do you mean that a kiddie pool filled with rainwater and beehives isn't the most sterile way to make alcohol? Color me confused. What's next - is rape and pillage not acceptable by modern standards either?

You're gonna pussy out on mead? Please. Alcohol is an anti-septic, and you really think the Vikings ran around with bleach and airlocks and store-bought mead yeast? Lets do this for real.

I want sex, sleep, sex then Chipotle...