Criminals commit crimes. Suicide is not a crime.

I don’t even see her with my eyes, I see her with my heart.

I had a beagle (Daisy) who would sit with her chin on the top stair becasue she was too tiny to get down. When she saw me from below she would squint and wag her tail. She was very submissive and wanted me to be sure she knew I was dominate, I guess.

Wow, definitely thought you meant that Ben Affleck was dating Fran Drescher, and my mind was blown for a minute.

At the sound of any dog noises, Adorable puppy cries included, my dog loses his fool mind and acts like we are facing some sort of WWIII level attack. He’s so sure we need to reach for the nukes, and I’m like ‘ buddy, its a YouTube video’. Occasionally he looks embarrassed.

YES. This times a million.

... from Eden Prairie, Minn.

I know relationships with parents are complicated. My own mother is a bitter, mean, self-absorbed woman and I just deal with it because it’s not worth the falling out that would ensue by telling her she’s terrible. But your dad sounds like a real asshole. If you want me to tell him that for you, let me know. I will…

Cecil’s cubs will almost certainly starve to death. Murdering asshole dentist’s wife and kids are much less likely to do so. I’m sure they’ll live, go to school, and get on with their lives subject to some harassment and public shame. Big fucking deal. That’s a far cry from being left to die just to satisfy one’s…

People who kill animals for fun are fucking awful. Killing a majestic and endangered animal just for the thrill of it is sick. Fuck this guy and fuck all of these big game hunters and fuck anyone who kills an animal just for the thrill of it.

“Kill Him”

SHH! QUIET, Kuchi Kopi!

These people are mostly bonkers and PETA is an extremely problematic organization but this mostly just irritated me. You have no idea how often people challenge or flat out troll me for being vegetarian. I don’t question your eating habits so please don’t give me shit about mine (I promise I’m not preachy; I just…

PETA is fucking nuts and hypocritical. But this happens to be an excellent cause. No to animals in circuses and amusement parks like SeaWorld.

Not to be a buzzkill, but how annoying that they have more big (and even TALL) sizes for men but not women. Always!

go be an asshole elsewhere

Stop, please...I can only get so erect.

I don't THINK most people have ab-shaped intestines. But I'm not a medical expert.

I can't have kids, but as a sign of solidarity, I poop when other people give birth. It's like my own personal congratulatory balloon bouquet.