His wonderful voice acting in the Lego Movie :)

My cats show me devotion because we love and care for each other.

I have met Lester Holt! He and my brother are casual friends, and the one time I met him he told me a funny story about them getting drunk and bowling together. He's lovely.

In Rocky Mountain National Park there have been moose sightings at Bear Lake.

Did anyone else's afternoon brain substitute "Moose and Squirrel" there?

Clearly, this needs to be funded.

Two VERY important things:

Lester Holt is awesome!

WOW, if you cut all of that out, you're just left with individual's status updates about what is happening to them personally in their lives...

I always knew there'd come a day when the Cartels went too far.

Sometimes people act like I'm a fanatic for never, ever giving any of my pets anything made in China, but this shit happens way too often. I do not myself ingest or use products from that region (wherever possible) so I wouldn't give it to them either.

Or JUST like us. I did the same thing to create hype for my birthday party.

Glad...to be...of service?

I thank you, though my penis has a frowny face now.

LOL "brakes like an X car" and "kevorkianesque". You know these are on here because they were used in a report at some point.

Here's the worst part:

Going to the homes of girls you go to school with to deliver a letter telling them they need to report for a vaginal inspection is fucking creepy as all hell.

i'm 27. a few weeks ago i went car shopping with my mom and the saleslady asked me if i went to the local high school. i was mostly offended. i feel like we should have gotten a discount.