So that's why the guidos wear three polo shirts at once! They're showing how much money they saved.

what about the part where he dodges the question about whether/how many times he actually saw this happen?

i bought a fake hitoshi "massager" on ebay. anything under $60 there is a counterfeit

This is extraordinarily timely for me because last night (for the first time in a LONG time) I had one of those damn things and I became a monster. A talkative, very enthusiastic, extremely wild monster. Basically I turned into horny Elmo.

Hey, that's the kind of chatter that wakes a crowd full of sore-assed wedding goers up. Breaking up all that Corinthians and dull vows with inappropriate questions asked too loudly, and tantrums. Never change sassy wedding-party children, never change.

That's why the pillow should have prop rings on it. Never trust a toddler with jewelry.

I took it a step further and LAY DOWN on the alter during the ceremony.

The ring bearer at my brother's wedding threw a tantrum in the aisle and threw the pillow with the rings on it into the crowd.

Ok, go play with your Ayn Rand action figures and leave this stuff to those of us who eventually got over our adolescent fantasy that we should be able to do whatever the hell we want. Or even better, go find a desert island and stay there. No roads, public utilities, security, nothing. Otherwise, get over yourself.

Or just point them at the many MANY cases of women who've been raped and put their rapist behind bars because it was the truth.

The baby in the boots and the little gal in the pink dress... OVARIES EXPLODED

Hey, man!.....What?

Paula Deen has always been a mess, I see.

No alcohol! Unless there's plenty to go around~

Yeah, a glittery bullet made of MONEY.

By all means, Katy, justify your continued insistence on looking like a sexualized Lisa Frank notebook.

She could try working a 40 hour work week, living on $34,000 a year for a while. Bet she'd feel like a grown up then.

White people have lost their goddamn minds since Obama came into office and I can't say I'm not enjoying it.

So do trans women we have all the same fucking vulnerabilities as you and then some. I've seen this argument before and it always ends up really excluding trans women from being considered women. Before surgery I wasn't just worried about being groped at a bar I was worried about being groped and outed as trans.

I always felt vaguely naughty using Bugles to do this: