In DC, I’d have to go with Georgetown. I have no idea why people go there. It’s full of chain stores, overpriced boutiques, and mediocre restaurants.* And it’s really annoying to get to. I think some folks like to stand in line at Georgetown Cupcake but there are tastier more accessible options like Danielle’s…

Oh, hello person in the row in front of me!

“How come they never protest black on black violence???”

My girlfriend went to Caz and this exact conversation just occurred.  Good luck. 

Well, I don’t hear it so much anymore, but “Just ignore the bullies and they’ll go away.” No, no they won’t. They’ll realize they’ve found a target that won’t fight back and will continue to victimize that target.

This. This is why you’re The Mayor.

Any conversation about celebrity fitness vs average person fitness should include this (Sorry it’s so fucking huge. Kinja gonna Kinja) :

(Those Landfill Fries sound like something I would actually eat and now I feel real bad about myself.)

These shirts serve an important role in society: They easily identify people you should avoid talking to at all costs.

That would be too easy though as literally every cat is an asshole.

#41: “Ooh, jumping in the stands. That looks fun. Hey I’m up here, too! Oh, we’re getting down now? Ok.”

“I was wrongly accused at my town’s best pizzeria.”

It is a little bit easier, but the small benefit does not justify any risk. You can score from third on a balk, wild pitch, or passed ball that would not score you from second, but those are all rare. There may be a few other ways, but they will be even more rare. On the other hand, with two outs the runner on second…

He’s not a real doctor, but he is a real fork. He is an ac-tu-al fork.

Each of Davey Johnson, Matt Williams, and Dusty Baker inherited a team that had failed to win the division (although Davey was interim manager in 2011 after Jim Riggleman quit) and the next year won 90+ games and the division. Johnson was getting up there, and it was probably the right time to move on after the team…

I’m surprised she told you about that.

Super Password.

gave “your wife” as a clue to “things you beat.”

Marvin the Martian not being at least in the top five is a crime against humanity, and I demand a swift and savage retribution against those responsible.