my favorite part was when vegas took exception to the Caps trying to score late, as if they were trying to run up the score.

It’s the same story as god and Satan, cowboys and Indians, good guys and bad guys with guns—the story that life is the constant act of pushing away death as it reaches for your throat. Everyone must be reminded that a masked intruder lurks, in theory, around every corner, with perhaps murderous intent, and we cannot…

This all-encompassing paranoia explains why the NRA convention hosted a lavish booth selling gold coins hauled up from a shipwreck, which offered brochures that asked, “Why are so many people over their IRAs and 401ks into physical gold IRAs?” The only possible answer is that grandma has become truly senile—or,…

Did anyone else see that dirty shit Latang did after the goal as Ovi was skating to the boards...?

It’s like rectangles and squares. Yeah, all squares are rectangles, but if you see a square you’re not gonna be calling it a rectangle.

I’d rather have the flight delayed, and then canceled, and then the pilot quits, and then the airline goes out of business, and then the airport shuts down, and then all flights are grounded, and then humans lose the knowledge necessary for mechanical flight, than be on a barf plane.

Ahem:

Yes, when “basketball” is a stand-in for “you are black and therefore you should not be playing hockey.” It’s clearly intended to reference a racial stereotype, and deploying it to taunt and unsettle a black man makes it obviously racist as hell.

Helles is an honest to goodness style of lager; unsure of its provenance, could be bright. Speaking of Helles/MPLS, Surly Hell is a top of the line lawnmower beer

The best moments:

My one and only time in Germany, and I could not stop giggling at that.