OK, y’all: dogs are good. Even dogs owned by bad people. I would vote for Ivanka in a heartbeat, but let’s not bring an innocent puppo into this.

I chose MSNBC over the Fox Blondes because after being at my parents’ house for almost a week and having MSNBC on the television every waking moment, it really affected my mental state. It broke me. I am broken.

This is gonna be the most cathartic bracket ever. Immediately after voting I was filled with a feeling of peace and weightlessness, albeit temporarily. I guess imagining a world without YouTubers really was that therapeutic!

Not so much a faux pas but a liability! My costume this year was the human centipede, with me at the front and two blow up dolls at the back, for friends’ party in a busy pub. Getting them there and back in a small hatchback with four humans already inside was bad enough but getting around inside the venue was like…

Not Halloween, but still a dress up faux pas (or possibly the greatest dress up incident ever, depending on your perspective): A few years back my brother and his girlfriend decided to throw a nice New Year’s Eve party for a few dozen close friends and relatives. They rented a banquet room at a restaurant, had an open…

This one time I took a profitable sports blog, told it to completely change its already successful column subject writing strategy and managed to fire the editor in charge leading to all the writers quitting in solidarity, leaving it as a shell, and then banning all comments because I was afraid of criticism. What a…

Where is the one about a private equity firm that takes over suite of websites and fucks it all to hell?

Man, I love people who self-own through being hilariously inept. You know, pumpkin thieves, thin-skinned vulture capitalist owners of blog sites, those kinds of folks.

I met my beloved at a punk rock house party. He had just broken up with a girl he’d dated for seven years, and he was smart and heartbroken and drunk and very funny. Everything he said was sad and hilarious, and I remember thinking, “He just broke up with someone, keep at arms’ length, they’ll probably get back…

I was lazily fucking my now-husband’s roommate. The roommate moved. Fast forward 33 years...

I used to get together with a friend where we’d look at the Craigslist personals and laugh and feel better about being single. Then, one day we read one that sounded too good to be true. “Not Lonely, Not Whiny and Definitely Not a Redneck.” I made a fake email account, didn’t use my name and replied and asked for…

I went on three dates with this guy I met on OkCupid five years ago. He was cute and we got along well, but I was kind of shy about having sex at the time and had already started dating someone else so we kind of just let it fizzle out after the third date.

I could tell he was going to be hot naked as soon as I saw him. I quickly undressed that ridiculous silver suit he was wearing piece by piece, savoring his scent every bit of the way. I knew it was true love as soon as I had my tongue wrapped around his salty pork but alas, my relationship with Burrito was meant to be…

Having just last month been unceremoniously, very unexpectedly, and without any prior discussion fired for something a manager misinterpreted, sat on for a week without speaking to me about it, and then just given my walking papers with no actual opportunity to defend myself — after nearly 4 years of me doing a hell…

travel hook-ups are great! i promised my french girl that i would come back one day. i did not know it would take 13 years and completely losing track her and then finding each other on myspace again... but we’re married now. :D

As a Bernie supporter that voted for him in the primaries in 2016:

Condoms do not “suck for both parties.” They can reduce sensitivity, but they don’t remove it. I never met a guy who couldn’t come while using a condom. And I dare say that sex with a condom is still more enjoyable than unwanted pregnancy, parenthood, or child support.

Ok, so this is just a weird story, and it’s funny now, but at the time (5years ago?)it was all kinds of wtf. My husband works in logistics and runs a huge warehouse full of fancy electronics. Contracts with the armed forces, schools, etc. They throw an annual holiday party, and go heavy on the drinks- open bar. I…

Can we just agree that the min wage should be $30.00 an hour? Please? The fight for $15.00 is crazy because it should be closer to $22.00 an hour nationwide and closers to $50.00 an hour in some of the most expensive cities like NYC and LA. $30.00 min wage would also lift the wages of some of the professionals in some…

Ugh that’s heartbreaking! But I love how you handled it. My mom never called me fat but she would call herself fat, which was rough because as soon as I hit puberty I weighed more than her. And was then like oh no I must be a whale if I weigh more than you!